i have a sworn duty to be both the cutest and the tuffest bisexual on this boeing 777
it’s hard work but honest
i’m so toxic rn i smiled at the TSA goon, let a group of old ladies cut in front of me in line, first-and-last-name introduced myself to my seat neighbor and god willing i’m about to clap when this mf lands
i’m the worst type of person to encounter at an airport because i’m the best type of person. i’m unrelentingly chipper and i know deep in my soul that We Will Literally Get There Eventually. i’m you but stronger
i’m the chaotic good version of the boomer dad at the customer service desk who thinks being rude actually gets results
my itinerary has been delayed or canceled three times, i eventually had to take a cab to newark, TSA flagged my bag for no reason, and i’m STILL in a good mood. an immovable object meets an unstoppable force. you’re nothing compared to me. i have devoured gods and kings alike